Wednesday, October 3, 2007

False Alarm - It's not just a chili (a satire on our real life event)

We had the false alarm today. A good ‘ol case of Braxton Hicks. Turns out even though Becky had already drank well over 32 oz of water she still needed more fluids. Dextrose! The sugar of life was all that was missing from her H2O. I guess Becky was just not sweet enough. Upon first waking from my restless night of sleep I would have agreed, however since my 4 hours of sleep was trumped by her 2, she won no grief from me.

Let me say that Parkland is a very nice hospital from the outside at 4:00 am. At 9:00 am it is time to run and hide. Going in I made the comment to Becky that walking around outside holding her plastic bag full of clothes would allow me to fit in (boy was I right about that one). I also enlivened the Nurse Practitioner when she asked what had brought us in with my reply of “we had nothing better to do than get up early in the morning and come hang out here”. Fortunately she enjoyed my sense of humor.

Becky stayed strong (and awake) the whole time, not letting the galloping noise of JJ’s heart beat drive her crazy. If you have not heard a fetal heart beat on a monitor before, let me sum the noise up this way. It’s like attending a live performance of Monty Python and The Holly Grail. Cue the coconuts and make a galloping horse noise with them at about 125 – 197 beats per minute. Onward Calvary we are going to bust our way out of here, possibly was the thought JJ was thinking this morning. Sorry to ruin your fun son, but you need to bake longer.

Becky is feeling great no more contractions, though I think the male nurse summed it up the best when he told Becky and I that “the uterus is a crazy thing that no one really understands” (I thought he was going to break out into a performance of “Menopause the Musical”, I saw enough commercials for that in Las Vegas). With that being said whether it is water, dextrose, JJ, or even just the uterus that causes these false alarms I feel sorry for John Braxton Hicks (JBH). This poor man has his name cursed at by many men who wake up in the middle of the night and drive their wives to the hospital to only watch her being monitored and refreshed with fluids.

I have chosen not to curse JBH, instead I will take my grief out on the hospital and health care companies for making me pay so much money for a microphone hooked up to a speaker and a bag of sugar water!

Tonight I sleep (hopefully I am not eating those words).

. . . To all of my enduring hockey fans we lost Saturday night 2-1 in the Stanley Keg Championship. Thank you to David, Christina, Scott, Warren, Laura, WC, Mary Bob, and Becky for being there and showing your support. Thank you also to everyone else who were unable to make it and offered support. Also thanks Becky for being the team nurse and helping Sergio out after he broke his leg (I know she wanted to get back out on the ice, this just was not the way she had in mind). We sure are going to miss Sergio next season. I pray for a speedy recovery for him.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

We have 3 prayer groups praying for JJ and hope that Becky is better now with her respiratory infection. God surrounds all 3 of you and your extended families.

Anonymous said...

Gone are the 'good old days' when a man was kept in a smokey waiting room, left to converse with other men, while the woman did her child-bearing thing. Now we got to be there too... seeing things we dont want to see, things that cause us to forever look at our wifes body as something other than a sexy piece of woman flesh. It's pretty much ruined things. :( No sleep. No Peace.

G. Burnap said...

Becky and Stephen,
I love how you love JJ via your blogs. I look forward to being a part of "Team JJ" in any way possible.