Since Becky is stuck at home and we are foregoing the traditional baby shower at this time, a house cleaning event is being hosted by our friends instead. I hope you can make it. Click on the image above to see the invitation.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
That Spark
We all know those moments in life where we have a spark that has pushed us to exceed beyond our normal self. Those times when we were running slow and something or someone pushed us along. For me I have always found inspiration from many things (Mom's smile, the joy of friends, love, and inner desire). Sometimes we reach a point where those normal sparks aren't there and we become lost . . . almost trapped in ourselves.
Ever since we have found out about JJ and diaphragmatic hernia's I have tried to provide the spark for Becky and our families. One of my contribution was through hockey. By providing us something to talk about other than the life and death situation that we are facing with JJ, it kept our minds occupied and fresh. I myself first gathered my inspiration from taking a piece of tape and taping it to the back of my hockey helmet with the letters JJ on it. Every time I would put my helmet on I reminded myself that no matter how bad it gets tonight my fight is nothing compared to my unborn sons future battle. As I would grow fatigued during the game, I would look up from the bench and see my family and friends there rooting me on. Most of all I would see Becky smiling. I would then feel energized ready to go again ready to battle.
This past weekend I faced my toughest battle by playing in 3 back-to-back-to-back games. Something that I saw as a challenge. No matter how strong I felt I knew I could do it. However when my night started off rough I lost myself. My thoughts turned to me and I could not get my head into the game. I would skate to the bench and stare up at the Crossbar looking for a face of anyone I knew. No one was there, no family, no friends. I felt all alone with a tough challenge ahead. With Becky stuck at home on bed rest and unable to attend, I still could not get her out of my mind. I kept searching, hoping to see her. I kept looking for my spark. After 8 years of marriage its good to know that I still need her so much in my life to help provide me with that spark.
After completing my first game, a blowout loss by the Komets to the Patriots, I went to my other teams locker room. I was hoping a cool drink would do something to set me right and get my head into the game for the next game. Just when I felt at one of my lowest with nowhere to turn, something changed. You never know when something else will provide you with a spark but it happens (whether its divine intervention or just part of life sparks can appear). It took two people to do what one of Becky's smiles does to me. My fellow teammates (and friends) Mel and Alex provided that spark to me. They pushed me in the right direction and kept me going. Their words of encouragement gave me the spark I needed. Thanks to them my toughest night became a lot smoother.
Even though we lost our second game, we fought hard and stayed strong to win the third game of the night. Even though my other team the Grave Diggers did good, it was the spark that Mel and Alex gave me that carried me through it all. When I came home and saw Becky I felt that spark grow stronger. I could tell even though she was not there with me, she was there mentally the whole time. Just remember we can't do it all and when that spark is missing from its normal place have faith that something else or someone can provide you that spark. Oh and also remember that after 3 games of playing hockey you will have soreness in places that you would not know muscles existed. We will talk about sparks of pain another time.
Ever since we have found out about JJ and diaphragmatic hernia's I have tried to provide the spark for Becky and our families. One of my contribution was through hockey. By providing us something to talk about other than the life and death situation that we are facing with JJ, it kept our minds occupied and fresh. I myself first gathered my inspiration from taking a piece of tape and taping it to the back of my hockey helmet with the letters JJ on it. Every time I would put my helmet on I reminded myself that no matter how bad it gets tonight my fight is nothing compared to my unborn sons future battle. As I would grow fatigued during the game, I would look up from the bench and see my family and friends there rooting me on. Most of all I would see Becky smiling. I would then feel energized ready to go again ready to battle.
This past weekend I faced my toughest battle by playing in 3 back-to-back-to-back games. Something that I saw as a challenge. No matter how strong I felt I knew I could do it. However when my night started off rough I lost myself. My thoughts turned to me and I could not get my head into the game. I would skate to the bench and stare up at the Crossbar looking for a face of anyone I knew. No one was there, no family, no friends. I felt all alone with a tough challenge ahead. With Becky stuck at home on bed rest and unable to attend, I still could not get her out of my mind. I kept searching, hoping to see her. I kept looking for my spark. After 8 years of marriage its good to know that I still need her so much in my life to help provide me with that spark.
After completing my first game, a blowout loss by the Komets to the Patriots, I went to my other teams locker room. I was hoping a cool drink would do something to set me right and get my head into the game for the next game. Just when I felt at one of my lowest with nowhere to turn, something changed. You never know when something else will provide you with a spark but it happens (whether its divine intervention or just part of life sparks can appear). It took two people to do what one of Becky's smiles does to me. My fellow teammates (and friends) Mel and Alex provided that spark to me. They pushed me in the right direction and kept me going. Their words of encouragement gave me the spark I needed. Thanks to them my toughest night became a lot smoother.
Even though we lost our second game, we fought hard and stayed strong to win the third game of the night. Even though my other team the Grave Diggers did good, it was the spark that Mel and Alex gave me that carried me through it all. When I came home and saw Becky I felt that spark grow stronger. I could tell even though she was not there with me, she was there mentally the whole time. Just remember we can't do it all and when that spark is missing from its normal place have faith that something else or someone can provide you that spark. Oh and also remember that after 3 games of playing hockey you will have soreness in places that you would not know muscles existed. We will talk about sparks of pain another time.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
The Big "B"
Well today Becky started her vacation early. After a morning of pictures from the MRI, Becky had her appointment with her Doctor. We discovered that her being exceptionally tired the past week and finally suffering through a tougher than normal night of sleep (the previous night) this was Becky's pregnancy moving in another direction. Dr. Lo confirmed that Becky's blood pressure was too high and she needed to reduce her activities. The exact terminology being "modified bed rest".
What does "modified" mean in this situation? Well let me tell you I envisioned Becky unable to leave her bed and needing ropes tied from the bed to the bathroom door that she would use to pull herself as she crawls on the floor. Thoughts of all of that rope I had saved up in the garage finally having a usage danced in my head. My "MacGyver" instincts soaring high at this point, the Doctor turned to me and said "she will just need to stay in bed, limit her activity to within the house, and to lite duty". What? No rope? No training Haven our dog to bring her nourishment. Well I guess that fine for now, but I will keep that rope handy and Haven is learning how to use her dew claws as opposable thumbs.
The MRI pictures were not too clear, as JJ let us know that he did not agree with the loud banging noise from the MRI and thus was unwilling to remain still for the pictures. The Radiologist was able to get enough resolution on the pictures to get the measurements needed. The lung growth on the right hand side has continued but the left hand side is still not showing to be present. Our only hope is that at birth some form of lung will inflate from an extreme flattened state allowing him to have 2 functioning lungs. All in all the news was the same, no real change. However we did have a plus as no new complications are forming and no signs of stress on him was present. So I guess you could say we are still in the same boat with the same hole, just now we have a dixie cup to start bailing with.
Ok here is the big announcement . . . We have talked to the Children's Medical Center and to Carter Blood Center. Because of the amount of blood JJ will need on ECMO we are making arrangements that you can donate at your local blood bank and they will credit this to JJ's account. Whether JJ survives or not we know that blood provides the basis for so many people in the hospital. It really is an easy thing to give and only costs you a few minutes of your time. I have contacted some of my co-workers at work and have asked if they could help us in arranging this effort and getting the message out. According to our arrangement with Carter Blood Center, once JJ is admitted into Children's the donations can begin. I hope to have flyer's posted and a notice on this blog when this will begin. Please check back for finalized details on this.
Since Children's is providing us internet access, while we are waiting for the stabilization of JJ in the ICU I will be making posts to the blog during this time period. I will update you on how Becky is doing, how everything is proceeding with JJ, and how the rest of the family is doing. This will give me something to do while I am anxiously waiting in the waiting room. I will post something next week as Becky has a follow up with Dr. Lo and the score of my hockey games.
What does "modified" mean in this situation? Well let me tell you I envisioned Becky unable to leave her bed and needing ropes tied from the bed to the bathroom door that she would use to pull herself as she crawls on the floor. Thoughts of all of that rope I had saved up in the garage finally having a usage danced in my head. My "MacGyver" instincts soaring high at this point, the Doctor turned to me and said "she will just need to stay in bed, limit her activity to within the house, and to lite duty". What? No rope? No training Haven our dog to bring her nourishment. Well I guess that fine for now, but I will keep that rope handy and Haven is learning how to use her dew claws as opposable thumbs.
The MRI pictures were not too clear, as JJ let us know that he did not agree with the loud banging noise from the MRI and thus was unwilling to remain still for the pictures. The Radiologist was able to get enough resolution on the pictures to get the measurements needed. The lung growth on the right hand side has continued but the left hand side is still not showing to be present. Our only hope is that at birth some form of lung will inflate from an extreme flattened state allowing him to have 2 functioning lungs. All in all the news was the same, no real change. However we did have a plus as no new complications are forming and no signs of stress on him was present. So I guess you could say we are still in the same boat with the same hole, just now we have a dixie cup to start bailing with.
Ok here is the big announcement . . . We have talked to the Children's Medical Center and to Carter Blood Center. Because of the amount of blood JJ will need on ECMO we are making arrangements that you can donate at your local blood bank and they will credit this to JJ's account. Whether JJ survives or not we know that blood provides the basis for so many people in the hospital. It really is an easy thing to give and only costs you a few minutes of your time. I have contacted some of my co-workers at work and have asked if they could help us in arranging this effort and getting the message out. According to our arrangement with Carter Blood Center, once JJ is admitted into Children's the donations can begin. I hope to have flyer's posted and a notice on this blog when this will begin. Please check back for finalized details on this.
Since Children's is providing us internet access, while we are waiting for the stabilization of JJ in the ICU I will be making posts to the blog during this time period. I will update you on how Becky is doing, how everything is proceeding with JJ, and how the rest of the family is doing. This will give me something to do while I am anxiously waiting in the waiting room. I will post something next week as Becky has a follow up with Dr. Lo and the score of my hockey games.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Tour Day
I completed my tour of the ICU - ECMO unit. Very interesting and educational time. I was able to see the ECMO pump and watch how it operates (boy that is a big tube they pump the blood through, almost as big around as my thumb). The ECMO Specialists recommended the following website to read up on the process in order to have a better understanding of how the pump works http://www.med.umich.edu/ecmo/patient/guides.htm.
A personal thanks goes to Sabra and Tamikia for taking time out of their busy day to show us around. It made both Becky and I feel quite comfortable with the difficult road ahead of us. There were so many people we met (sorry I have too many names running together with everything else to get them all correct at this time), and each and everyone of them greeted us with the same great kindness making us feel safe with the care they will provide. One conclusion that I did draw from our discussions is that no matter what occurs we truly have the best team arranged to handle everything. This makes our previous decision not to go to San Francisco (and have the surgical procedure performed there) the right one.
Big day tomorrow, it's "Picture Day" for JJ. I hope he does ok. According to Becky he is running out of room in there and so this should help him stay still during the MRI. I will post pictures as soon as I have them.
I have received some more requests to help us out. Becky and I are working on something that everyone possibly could do that will only cost them a little of their time. Should know more on this tomorrow to make a formal announcement.
I would like to dispel the rumor that Becky went into labor early. However I would like to complement the ICU team for a very good job in prepping the unit for us even though we did not need it. It's safe to say you past the test! Not sure what caused this to occur over the weekend, but by the response we heard it made both of us amazed at how fast everyone was prepared for everything. I promise no more false alarms, though getting a phone call asking if your in labor when you answer the phone is quite funny. I know Becky likes her cellphone but if she takes it into delivery, I'm cutting her and her BFF off for good (for those of you who do not speak text that means best friend forever).
On the Hockey front, it was a disappointing weekend all around as all my games were canceled because of a scheduling problem with the officials. Everything is fixed and back on track. We hit the ice Saturday 10/27 @ 7:30pm Komets vs. Patriots. I have also been asked to help out with another team (formerly known as the Leftovers) at 8:45pm. Should make for a busy night and some great exercise. Our Heineken Cup game in Grapevine is now scheduled for Friday 11/2 at 9:00pm. Looking forward to that one, as I will use it as an experimental game to try new positions and playing styles (time to see if I can turn into a goal scorer).
A personal thanks goes to Sabra and Tamikia for taking time out of their busy day to show us around. It made both Becky and I feel quite comfortable with the difficult road ahead of us. There were so many people we met (sorry I have too many names running together with everything else to get them all correct at this time), and each and everyone of them greeted us with the same great kindness making us feel safe with the care they will provide. One conclusion that I did draw from our discussions is that no matter what occurs we truly have the best team arranged to handle everything. This makes our previous decision not to go to San Francisco (and have the surgical procedure performed there) the right one.
Big day tomorrow, it's "Picture Day" for JJ. I hope he does ok. According to Becky he is running out of room in there and so this should help him stay still during the MRI. I will post pictures as soon as I have them.
I have received some more requests to help us out. Becky and I are working on something that everyone possibly could do that will only cost them a little of their time. Should know more on this tomorrow to make a formal announcement.
I would like to dispel the rumor that Becky went into labor early. However I would like to complement the ICU team for a very good job in prepping the unit for us even though we did not need it. It's safe to say you past the test! Not sure what caused this to occur over the weekend, but by the response we heard it made both of us amazed at how fast everyone was prepared for everything. I promise no more false alarms, though getting a phone call asking if your in labor when you answer the phone is quite funny. I know Becky likes her cellphone but if she takes it into delivery, I'm cutting her and her BFF off for good (for those of you who do not speak text that means best friend forever).
On the Hockey front, it was a disappointing weekend all around as all my games were canceled because of a scheduling problem with the officials. Everything is fixed and back on track. We hit the ice Saturday 10/27 @ 7:30pm Komets vs. Patriots. I have also been asked to help out with another team (formerly known as the Leftovers) at 8:45pm. Should make for a busy night and some great exercise. Our Heineken Cup game in Grapevine is now scheduled for Friday 11/2 at 9:00pm. Looking forward to that one, as I will use it as an experimental game to try new positions and playing styles (time to see if I can turn into a goal scorer).
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Schedule Changes
Just to update some last minute changes. My visit of the ecmo unit has been moved tentatively for next Tuesday (10/23).
The hockey game in Grapevine has been postponed due to a figure skating competition. Tentatively this is being moved to next Friday (10/26).
The first hockey game of the new season is this Saturday (10/20) at 7:30 pm.
The hockey game in Grapevine has been postponed due to a figure skating competition. Tentatively this is being moved to next Friday (10/26).
The first hockey game of the new season is this Saturday (10/20) at 7:30 pm.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Picture Time!!
When you see what appears to be a foot at your baby's face many different thoughts cross your mind. How did that get there, is he ok, is that suppose to happen like that, great now I know what's causing those pains for my wife, and (the best of all) a future NFL kicker (Daddy's got a new retirement plan).
Just in case you had to blink twice I provided both pictures of what I can only term as "my wife's child" as I have always lacked the flexibility to do anything remotely like this. This was probably JJ's most photogenic moment in awhile, so much so that we even witnessed him scratching his nose with his toes.
Busy visit with the Doctor this week and busy schedule coming up. Let me start with thanking Becky's co-worker for arranging a tour of the ECMO treatment area of Children's Medical Center. Becky had a chance to tour this Saturday night and to meet with one of the Specialist. After seeing all of this everything seamed to hit home again with Becky. I think she feels the need to try to be overly cautious with me on the physical state that JJ will be in on ECMO. I have to remind her that I was present for my brother when he was being treated for his burns and I remember seeing some of the worst stuff that I would not want to even describe to this day. All during that time period I kept reminding myself that our loved ones who are in this state must go through these unnatural phases as a means of healing.
Though JJ will be puffy like the Michelin Man with a purple-grey tinge to his body,no matter what he is still our son. My dealing with his physical condition is part of the healing process for me, as he is dealing with the internal healing on his own. Whether he makes it through all of this or not I will still have many wonderful memories, just like the other night when I thought he was going to poke his hand through Becky's belly to shake mine. I am scheduled to take my tour this week, so I hope to give a better report next week of things we may possibly need if and when he gets to the ECMO unit.
Dr. Horsager evaluated Becky and has asked for another MRI to be performed to see where lung development is at. This will provide us with a better gauge of what to expect survival wise, and immediately after delivery. This is to occur on 10/25 (be on the lookout for some more of the really cool pictures).
Becky's inducement date is still scheduled for November 14th at Parkland.
****Baby Shower****
Becky and I have received many questions regarding when this will be. We decided that we will forgo the customary baby shower at this point. Since JJ can be in the hospital for several months, it will be best if we hold off and have a coming home shower for him. In lieu of that many of Becky's friends are doing a house cleaning party for us. This will be November 9 from 1pm -5pm. Everyone is more than welcome to attend.
On a side note, I will be participating in the Euless I-League vs. the Grapevine I-League Heineken Cup Hockey game on Friday 19th at 9:00pm at Grapevine Mills mall. I would love to see you there if you have no other plans that night. It should be a real fun time. The new season starts on the 20th back at the Dr. PepperStarCenter in Euless.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
False Alarm - It's not just a chili (a satire on our real life event)
We had the false alarm today. A good ‘ol case of Braxton Hicks. Turns out even though Becky had already drank well over 32 oz of water she still needed more fluids. Dextrose! The sugar of life was all that was missing from her H2O. I guess Becky was just not sweet enough. Upon first waking from my restless night of sleep I would have agreed, however since my 4 hours of sleep was trumped by her 2, she won no grief from me.
Let me say that Parkland is a very nice hospital from the outside at 4:00 am. At 9:00 am it is time to run and hide. Going in I made the comment to Becky that walking around outside holding her plastic bag full of clothes would allow me to fit in (boy was I right about that one). I also enlivened the Nurse Practitioner when she asked what had brought us in with my reply of “we had nothing better to do than get up early in the morning and come hang out here”. Fortunately she enjoyed my sense of humor.
Becky stayed strong (and awake) the whole time, not letting the galloping noise of JJ’s heart beat drive her crazy. If you have not heard a fetal heart beat on a monitor before, let me sum the noise up this way. It’s like attending a live performance of Monty Python and The Holly Grail. Cue the coconuts and make a galloping horse noise with them at about 125 – 197 beats per minute. Onward Calvary we are going to bust our way out of here, possibly was the thought JJ was thinking this morning. Sorry to ruin your fun son, but you need to bake longer.
Becky is feeling great no more contractions, though I think the male nurse summed it up the best when he told Becky and I that “the uterus is a crazy thing that no one really understands” (I thought he was going to break out into a performance of “Menopause the Musical”, I saw enough commercials for that in Las Vegas). With that being said whether it is water, dextrose, JJ, or even just the uterus that causes these false alarms I feel sorry for John Braxton Hicks (JBH). This poor man has his name cursed at by many men who wake up in the middle of the night and drive their wives to the hospital to only watch her being monitored and refreshed with fluids.
I have chosen not to curse JBH, instead I will take my grief out on the hospital and health care companies for making me pay so much money for a microphone hooked up to a speaker and a bag of sugar water!
Tonight I sleep (hopefully I am not eating those words).
. . . To all of my enduring hockey fans we lost Saturday night 2-1 in the Stanley Keg Championship. Thank you to David, Christina, Scott, Warren, Laura, WC, Mary Bob, and Becky for being there and showing your support. Thank you also to everyone else who were unable to make it and offered support. Also thanks Becky for being the team nurse and helping Sergio out after he broke his leg (I know she wanted to get back out on the ice, this just was not the way she had in mind). We sure are going to miss Sergio next season. I pray for a speedy recovery for him.
Let me say that Parkland is a very nice hospital from the outside at 4:00 am. At 9:00 am it is time to run and hide. Going in I made the comment to Becky that walking around outside holding her plastic bag full of clothes would allow me to fit in (boy was I right about that one). I also enlivened the Nurse Practitioner when she asked what had brought us in with my reply of “we had nothing better to do than get up early in the morning and come hang out here”. Fortunately she enjoyed my sense of humor.
Becky stayed strong (and awake) the whole time, not letting the galloping noise of JJ’s heart beat drive her crazy. If you have not heard a fetal heart beat on a monitor before, let me sum the noise up this way. It’s like attending a live performance of Monty Python and The Holly Grail. Cue the coconuts and make a galloping horse noise with them at about 125 – 197 beats per minute. Onward Calvary we are going to bust our way out of here, possibly was the thought JJ was thinking this morning. Sorry to ruin your fun son, but you need to bake longer.
Becky is feeling great no more contractions, though I think the male nurse summed it up the best when he told Becky and I that “the uterus is a crazy thing that no one really understands” (I thought he was going to break out into a performance of “Menopause the Musical”, I saw enough commercials for that in Las Vegas). With that being said whether it is water, dextrose, JJ, or even just the uterus that causes these false alarms I feel sorry for John Braxton Hicks (JBH). This poor man has his name cursed at by many men who wake up in the middle of the night and drive their wives to the hospital to only watch her being monitored and refreshed with fluids.
I have chosen not to curse JBH, instead I will take my grief out on the hospital and health care companies for making me pay so much money for a microphone hooked up to a speaker and a bag of sugar water!
Tonight I sleep (hopefully I am not eating those words).
. . . To all of my enduring hockey fans we lost Saturday night 2-1 in the Stanley Keg Championship. Thank you to David, Christina, Scott, Warren, Laura, WC, Mary Bob, and Becky for being there and showing your support. Thank you also to everyone else who were unable to make it and offered support. Also thanks Becky for being the team nurse and helping Sergio out after he broke his leg (I know she wanted to get back out on the ice, this just was not the way she had in mind). We sure are going to miss Sergio next season. I pray for a speedy recovery for him.
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