I thought I would give Stephen a rest and make a post. Well back for another appointment and JJ did very good today for us. Stephen could not make it to this visit, but I had 2 very special people with me to see our little one in his womb. He kicked, moved around, and tried to hide from the sonogram tech like always. However this could have been caused by the glucose drink I had to take. Everything looked good with him. He is growing and now currently weighs 2lbs 15oz. Each sonogram I have closer to my due date makes my heart break even more. With today's sonogram we got to see my little boy moving his mouth and acting like he was smiling at the camera. He was also practicing his breathing with what little lung he has on his right side. Seeing his little chest move up and down made tears come to my eyes. It hurts to know that he is fine while inside of me and once he is born he will have to fight for his life. With each kick and move I feel it hurts even more that he has to go through all of this; I wish I could take away all the pain and hurt that he will have to go through. This all really sucks and the emotions that I feel range from anger to pure heartache. I know God will continue to make me stronger for when JJ gets here. Each tear I cry is for him and for him to continue to be strong like his Dad. I know it is hard for Stephen at times to understand what I am feeling and what I am going through for our little one. He has been a great husband and I know he will be a great Dad for JJ. I wish at times Stephen could feel him move and kick all day and have the bond that has already grown between us. I wish Stephen could have seem him today trying to be a big boy taking those little breaths and smiling at us, but just don't tell JJ there will be more picture once again in 4 weeks. I know he can't wait. The love we have for this little boy grows everyday and with each time we see him it grows even more. Mark your calenders, November 14 will be the day I get induced. My real due date is November 25. We had to work around the Thanksgiving Holidays. At this point I am not ready yet for what else is to come, but I do know that JJ will be Thanksgiving this year and I am looking forward to the chance to see his face in person and not on the screen.
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6 comments:
What a great picture! Thanks for sharing! One can only imagine the extremes of emotions you feel. I think about y'all often and pray for your future. Thanks for the update.
Kat
What a great profile, looks like Stephen!
Keep up the great work Becky. Our prayers are with you.
Love Liz and Victor
Becky and Stephen - what a beautiful baby boy. I can only imagine what emotions you go through each day. I always keep the three of you in my thoughts and prayers. Knowing the strength and faith that both you and Stephen have, I know JJ will come out fighting.
Kathy Clem
Stephen and Becky
What a great picture. Your Mom sent this to us and we will ask for prayers again at church tommorrow. We wish you both the best and know that our love goes out to you. Jane and Jim Tadlock
Becky and Stephen,
Know that there are many of us out here that can't come close to feeling what you're feeling or understanding what you understand, but we are all rooting for you both and JJ. He's awesome!
Erin Ditto
Ok Becky the sad time is over. You most have happy thoughts and feeling. When you think sad thoughts JJ feels those sad feeling. So now until his birthday you are going to have happy feeling so JJ feels happy too.
I have a small understanding what you are going thought. When I went through all the rehab and surgries for my burns. I had to tell myself. I can feel sorry for myself one day out of the month. The rest of the time I well win this fight.
Remember this you and JJ are part of this Janis family. You can shoot us , set us on fire, and can have bad pain from illness. But we never give up and family is always with you.
Your unstable brother-in-law, Ed
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