Reflections from a Silent Perspective

I know it has been some time since I have posted here last but with all of the events that have occurred this month coupled with the anniversaries of the passing of Johnathon, My Grandmother, and My Dad I felt that it was time for the silence to pass.  It has been 5 years since Johnathon has left my side, 3 years that my Grandmother has passed, and the 1st anniversary of my Dad's sudden and unexpected departure.

Each loss brought about sorrow, a feeling of being lost, and the necessity to lean on friends and family members to help overcome grief.  Every year you get a little stronger and work a little harder.  This year has proven to be the toughest of all.  Through all of the major events in my life one thing has always remained constant . . . love.  Love from my parents to pick me up, stand me back on my feet, and tell me to go forward.  This year that has not been as present as I have realized how much of pillar of strength my Dad was.  It's sad to say that it took his passing for me to understand all those times I thought he was mad at me that really he was just trying to make me a better man. I guess hindsight is really 20/20.

This years shootings in Connecticut has only strengthened the lessons I learned from Johnathon, to love those in our life as much and as dearly as we can.  For we never know when they could be taken from us.  I have always done this with Liam, even through his tantrums and stubbornness I have always found something funny he has done that day that made my heart swell or created a great laugh.  I know my Dad would be proud of the Father I am becoming.  I only wish that I could have received more wisdom from, but then I myself that he too made mistakes and learned from them just as I have to do.  You will never know how good you have become until you have seen how far you have come.

I know that I have remained silent here and to many of those around me, lost in thought and reflection.  I know that I must move forward and break that silence.  Call it a genetic trait that is hard to break as the Janis men are notorious for keeping things to themselves.  Consider this my first step toward that.  With 2 of the more happiest events of my life to come this month (the 13th wedding anniversary to the sweetest person I know and Christmas), it's time to stop being sad this month.  It's time to see this time for what it's meant to be.  For me its the biggest event (and the best) of my life and the time that I get to spend with my friends and family members.  This year the "big Christmas breakfast" has returned.  A time for me to serve those I care about the most and provide them one of the most important needs of their life (food) on a day to celebrate the birth of the most famous servant leader of them all.  Will this stop those thoughts in my mind . . . NO.  Will I always carry a bit of sorrow that those who have passed cannot be with us . . . YES.

Hug your kids, kiss those who are closest to you, and take the time.  Take the time to listen and create memories.  For when life rains on our parade and beats us with a stick its those positive memories that lift us up and stand us back on our feet.  Where we go from their is purely up to us.

Thank you!  Thank you for coming into my life, being a part of it, spending your time reading my thoughts and feelings, and for letting these writings create a moment of thought in you.  Thank you for the impact you have had on my life.  Thank you for being there.  Finally thank you for the small things you do that you do not realize has a positive impact on my life and others around you.

I hope to continue to post many more thoughts and events here in the future so that one day my legacy will live on beyond me and that Liam can pass it down to his children.  In closing I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Simple Thoughts from the Complicated Mind

It's funny how we view people. We see some people as lazy, some as gifted, some as leaders, and etc. However it is those that we see as pillars of strength that we forget that they are only human just like us. We forget that no matter how strong they are that they too get tired and grow weak. It is at this time that they need our help whether it be physically, spiritually, or mentally. I know it's hard out their in this world for all of us to be there so in lieu of that I ask for a simple task. Just a prayer or a moment of reflection for those "pillars" around us. A simple note of thanks for all they do to make us a better person.

Here is mine:

To Pastor Eddie thank you for your exhaustive effort to keep everyone strong in faith. This week you have suffered through a tough schedule and I know that as we have seen you going through this it has only made us want to persevere harder to accomplish that which has been placed before us. I appreciate your words of wisdom and the strength that you bring to me and my family.

To my old friend David. You friendship all of these years has always allowed me to know that if anything happened you would be there. I know you are going through a tough time as you experience the joy and relief of selling your home, while experiencing the memories that you will be leaving. I look forward to your new address and to the memories that I will be a part of there.

To my friend Charles who is leaving his current job after so many years to follow his dreams of owning his own business. Your physical strength and personality has always allowed you to garner those relationships that have made you strong. I wish you luck in your new endeavor and hope that I can provide you some strength along the way.

Finally to Becky. Even though she has not followed my wishes and swallowed a ball for Liam to play with I am proud for all she has done in surviving her bed rest protocol. Though I really expected her to go stir crazy from being home she has handled it quite well and has become an expert of the to do's of our friends on Facebook. Your strength through this has allowed me to shoulder more of the load and to carry on for us.

I know that these are only a couple of people that I have singled out and that there are many more, please know that I am thinking of all of you in my prayers. Peace and happiness to everyone this Easter weekend. May you enjoy the joys that surround us.

Baby Shower

It's not too late to RSVP for the baby shower. Here is the info.

For: Becky Janis
Date: Saturday April 3
Time: 2:00pm
Place: Calvary Baptist Church
304 Calvary Dr
Euless, TX 76040
Hosted By: Melissa, Julie, Lindsay, and Patty

If you have not already contacted Julie or any of the other hosts to RSVP please post your RSVP in the comment section and I will make sure you are counted.

The Power of One

Who is that mystery blogger . . . Why it's me. I know where have I been? Why no blogging in awhile? Well let me tell you pregnancy is a real B****!! With all of the late night cravings, lack of sleep, being uncomfortable, and don't get me started on the weight gain. This is only what I am going through I bet Becky has it easier. Hahaha! It's funny how we guys start to have the same issues come up from our pregnant spouses. Think about it. They want ice cream, you want ice cream. They stay awake, you stay awake. They mention how it's starting to become harder to see their toes, you mention how it is harder to see their toes. Yeah that last one made me experience some pregnancy pains across the face.

Well baby Liam is doing fine, maybe a little too fine. At 30 weeks of pregnancy he is weighing a little over 4 lbs. Sounds like he has his Dad's skills (eating skills that is). Now Mom on the other hand, is not too hot. Becky has been put on modified bed rest. What's that you ask. Well that means the Doctor has given Stephen the keys to the car and he gets to drive for awhile. (I only wish!) Truthfully her days are now controlled by a blood pressure cuff. On good days I can take her out for dinner or a short trip to the store. On bad days she is down and out. Due to the issues the Doctor has been discussing moving the delivery date up. Since I don't want to jinx it (and yes it is a date I have been lobbying for) I will not mention it as of yet till the Doctor confirms its a go.

For now we are making plans to get everything lined up for delivery. We have the crib, changing table, stroller, car seat/carrier, and diaper bag all taken care of. So what's left is on our registry at Babies R Us. Click here for the link to the Registry.

We had some pictures taken of Liam on Friday and I must say I think he is telling us to leave him alone right now. That or he thinks we are #1. Look at the 3D image on the right of the picture. If you think it's an obscene hand gesture on top of a foot in front of his face you got it right. As the tech said when she saw it on the sono "Oh my! He's giving us the finger". Thanks son for being so expressive, message heard loud and clear. Now go back to baking and we'll check on you in a few weeks.

Well I must get back to my Spring Break. It's nice to have some time on your hands to relax and not have to be busy studying Organic Chemistry. I hope everyone is doing well. Hey anyone up for a guys baby shower at a casino in Oklahoma? I'm thinking a road trip does sound good.

Random Thoughts from a New Year

Well if you have not already heard it by now Becky is pregnant with a little boy. His name is Liam Kristoffer. Where did we come up with Liam? If you look-up the meaning of the name it says "determined guardian". I don't know about you but since I am getting older I feel better knowing that I have that to fall back on. Plus other than Liam Neeson there are few celebrities with that name, giving him a great chance to carve out his own niche in this world. As for Kristoffer, we enjoyed the Scandinavian spelling and the fact that it stood for the "patron saint of travelers" (it goes well with our love of traveling). Put all of this together and you can see that the names deep meanings are the reasons we went with it. You can check out info on Liam here. You can check out info on Kristoffer here.

So many things have come to mind this year. What does it hold? Will our luck be better this year? Do I have a chance at the lottery? Do the Cowboys have a chance at getting to the Super Bowl? Do the Stars have any life left in them to play better? Most important of all, will child birth be easier on Becky this time around? She is looking at a delivery date of May 12th. I hope to open the betting window soon so everyone can pick a square for the delivery time. No calling the Doctor to get inside information (that includes you Mel or as we now call you 2% Dad).

I need some heeling prayers for my Mom as she recovers from her shoulder surgery. I know I have teased her here many times before and I will do it again. As this is the special way that I keep her young (or is it sending her to an early grave . . . oops). Being a retired nurse you can imagine that she is a bad patient and is always testing her boundaries. You have to love the spunk in her even though I roll my eyes sometimes, I do it with love. Get well soon Mom. Also my good friend Alex is fighting through his own injuries and I ask that you keep him in your prayers too. Alex is the kind of guy that will drop what he is doing to help you no matter what. I'll always appreciate the things he has done for me over the years and I hope that someday I can repay him.

Finally my job is going well and I will be starting my chemistry class next week. The schedule has me in class on Tuesday and Thursday. I am looking forward to the challenge though I will miss the public skating time and hockey practice times with my friends AJ and Ryan. I hope to find another date and time that we can hang together soon. Our next game is January 23rd at 9:15pm. If we win this one then we will be in the Keg Championship. If you get a chance come out and support us.

I hope everyone is having a great start to the New Year and that we can all get together soon.

In Memory

I dedicate this posting in memory of my Grandmother Lilah Janis, who passed on 12/15. Though we were never as close as most grandparent relationships are do to the distances we lived (she in Atlanta, GA), I always made an effort to call her everytime I changed planes in Atlanta. She was probably one of the most avid readers of this blog and asked me to write more so she could keep up with us. Now as I write this I reflect on all of the times I spent with her and the impact she and my Granfather had on my life. I wish I had more time with her and wish I could share the birth of our new little one with her, but I'm at peace. Peace because I know that she is with the love of her life my Grandfather Stanley Janis. I also know that she has finally had the chance to meet her Great Grandson Johnathon (he's probably listening to her read a nursery story just like the one she read to me). I ask during this time for two things. Prayers and phone calls. Prayers for my family in dealin
g with this loss and for everyone who reads or hears this blog to pick-up a phone and call that relative that you have not heard from in awhile. Let them know you are thinking about them. Distance grows us apart but communication keeps us together.

I pray that peace, joy, and happiness may come to you this holiday season.

Police & Fire Academy Photos

I graduated Thursday night from the City of Euless's Citizen Police and Fire Academy. This will allow me to do volunteer work for the Police and Fire Departments. Nothing dangerous just helping to deliver cold water on a hot day and/or aiding them in some charity events. They took pictures of us doing various tasks that the real public servants perform. Here is the link to the rest of the pictures.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/srjanis1998/sets/72157622758132668/